Saturday, March 7, 2009

THE PARENTS´ NEW GENERATIONS

Yesterday, I reaffirmed my conviction that if we are responsible people and people enriched by the cumulative experience of an up and down life full of special circumstances, we have a moral responsibility of staying put and firm so the new generations cannot argue the lack of illuminating guideposts when failing.
The awareness of this remaining endeavor justified my children´s statements when trying to encourage us not to give up to the temptation of a placid passivity.

Because it is a fact that we have not reached the mental and emotional retirement age of giving everything up for the sake of resting and becoming just speculating but disinterested witnesses in the twilight times of our lives.

Because we still have a lot to give and share with the less experienced people!

It came about that I decided to translate from Spanish into English a message that had come to my laptop through the expanding cycle of commentaries in the internet.

Commentaries that many of my friends who reside all over the world but keep united by way of this wonderful modern communication tool have taken upon themselves as their responsibility of disseminating for the enlightenment of the younger generations.

It is so rewarding to see how our children, the next in line generation, meditate on the conflicting and confusing pressures they find while trying to raise their own children in what I consider a sound basis for analysis and decision making ground.

It is encouraging and leads us to pitch in with our timely advice when we see them trying to realize the seriousness and deepness of the challenges in place and do something about it.

Because of the importance of the issues placed on the table I turned it into an AVI video to share with you all at the same time that you read it and listen to its concepts. Meditate on their concepts!

THE PARENTS´ NEW GENERATIONS
We are of the first generations of parents decidedly intent on not repeating the same probable mistakes made by our parents. And in our efforts to abolish the abuses of the past we are now the most dedicated and understanding ones, but at the same time the weakest and most insecure in history.

The grave most issue is that we are dealing with the “most feeling equal to”, belligerent and powerful children than never before. It seems that our efforts to become the parents we wanted to have, we have gone from one end of the equation to the opposite one, ending up with being the last children reprimanded by their parents and the first parents reprimanded by our own children.

The last ones to fear our parents and the first ones to fear our sons! The last ones growing under our parents control and the first ones to live under our children´s yoke! And worst than else… the last ones who respected our parents and the first ones accepting disrespect from our children.

Before… parents were considered good ones when children were well behaved, obeyed and showed respect to their parents! And good children, those who were formal and venerated their parents!

But today, as the hierarchical frontiers evanesced… good parents are those who get their children to love them even if they do not respect them much. And now the children are the ones demanding respect from their parents, understanding as such, not meddling with their preferences, behavior and ways of acting and living.

And besides… their “in their eyes due and obliged” generous financing so they are able to satisfy their exigencies, whims and cravings.

As someone could say… roles are upside down. Now the parents have to please their children to win them over, and not the other way, as in past times. This explains why so many parents today try even more than their best to be their children best friends, as this looks “very cool”

It has been said that extremes touch themselves by bending, and if the past authoritarianism filled the children with fear towards their parents, the present weakness does also fill the children with fear and disdain when seeing parents so weak and lost as they see themselves.

Children need to see their parents as capable leaders to rein them back when uncontrolled and guide them when lost and uncertain of the path they are choosing.

If authoritarianism crushes down, permissiveness suffocates! Only a firm and respectful attitude will allow them to trust our capacity to rule them while young and learning so they understand and accept that we are leading them and not carrying them on our backs, surrendered to their will and their fancies.

Only by acting this way we will avoid the new generations being suffocated by the lack of control and disdain of commitment where society is being drawn looking as lost and wandering…
No parameters! No control! No destination!
What do you think? Does it hits home?

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